The new season of Game of Thrones starts July 16. As preparation, I’m re-watching the first six seasons of the show. Below are 20 thoughts I had while watching the fifth episode of season one, “The Wolf and the Lion.” Spoilers for the entire series, but for this episode in particular.
- “I don’t think a widow’s life would suit her” – Okay, now the writers are just being morbid with the foreshadowing.
- Lancel may have gotten the Lannister looks, but he didn’t get their brains. Not if he thinks there’s a breastplate stretcher.
- I almost pity Cersei, being married to Robert. Almost. Not quite.
- I am not loving Loras’s hair. I’m glad it gets better as the show goes on.
- Loras and Renly’s relationship really was the worst-kept secret in King’s Landing, wasn’t it?
- I like how we get some background on the various houses of Westeros during Bran’s lesson with Maester Luwin. It’s a clever way of including important information.
- Why on Earth do we continue to get full-frontal scenes on HBO and other premium cable channels? Does anyone really want to see a penis on their TV?
- The Iron Throne looks so uncomfortable. It would have to be the creation of a Targaryen.
- I always appreciate the reminder that Littlefinger and Varys hate each other, even though they’re forced to work together. Team Varys!
- Why the Hell are people always mistaking Arya for a boy? She might be wearing pants, but she has long hair and feminine features, for goodness sake.
- “The whore is pregnant” – You are all class, Robert.
- Robert threatening to strip Ned of his title as Hand cracks me up, since Ned didn’t want the job in the first place.
- This scene is so messed up. I know it’s meant to show how crazy Lysa is, but I think part of the reason it was included was pure shock value.
- Pity there’s no printing press in Westeros, or Lysa could publish a book on extended breastfeeding.
- We get our first scene between Loras and Renly. And I’m reminded that Bury Yours Gays is still a thing in 2017.
- Hearing Robert complain about how he hasn’t had a real fight in nine years makes me roll my eyes. How is peace a bad thing?
- “What harm could Lyanna Stark’s ghost do to either of us?” – I hope her son comes to King’s Landing and has you beheaded, bitch.
- Littlefinger’s girl honestly thinks the king cares about her and the child he fathered out-of-wedlock. Poor, naive thing.
- Ned is such a gentleman, trying to protect Cat.
- I wonder what the outcome of this swordfight would have been if that stupid Lannister guard hadn’t stabbed Ned in the back of the knee.
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